Secrets and Treasures

Rest is crucial for progress.

Zachery L.

It’s been a while since I last wrote on this platform. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and resting this year. I have also been evaluating all my friendships – deciding whether they were worthy of keeping – or not. One could say that I have been following suit on the 2019 goals I set for myself. I have been taking my time in every single thing that I do, resting wherever possible. I got sick and tired of being burnt-out on a daily basis and being unable to complete tasks because of me wasting my energy on things that do not require much of my attention.

Burning Old Bridges

I lost friends this year – some that I had deemed worthy in previous years. I saw no possibility of growth if I had stayed in them. I believe that friendships and certain relationships are cosmic, they come and go. They serve a purpose in helping us heal or propel us into the direction our lives are meant to take. I am truly grateful for those noble companionships – but in all honesty – I noticed that I outgrew them. So for my own sake, I had to walk out and leave. I’m at a better place mentally and I’m happier and more content with myself. I am looking forward to all the forthcoming friendships. I totally give myself permission to let life unfold into what it is – both beauty and terror. Mind you, I gave myself the time and permission to grieve the relationships. This is something that I had never allowed myself to – that is – to grieve. I think this is a sign that I am starting to listen to my mind, body, and soul, more than I ever have before.

An Epiphany

After so many years of going for therapy, it only occurred to me just recently. Despite the trauma that one had to endure in life – your own will and power are still within reach. I used to feel inferior – by comparison – to who I was before my trauma. I was pretty much more productive and livelier than I currently am. I only realized that people wanted me to deviate from my own power because of their insecurities. My fear was that I am powerful and capable of greatness but I was made to believe that these qualities were out of reach. The purpose of therapy was to help me get my own voice and strength back. None of these qualities can be found externally, they are all within me.

“Finding Yourself” is really not how it works. You aren’t a 10 dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became beliefs about who you are. “Finding Yourself” is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you are before the world got its hands on you.

Emily McDowell

Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind.

Love,

Francesca

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